Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Send help, water and tortillas.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
