It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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