so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
