Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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