i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
