walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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