How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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