ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
