just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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