This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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