Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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