Pappa wants mamma naked
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
