I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
