i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
