bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
