dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
