Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
