he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
