Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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