Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
