Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
3pm strippers are depressing
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
