I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
