But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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