Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
