She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
