Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
