I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
