I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
