Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize