Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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