Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You can't motorboat a personality
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
