You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
