This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
