Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
