Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
