Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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