either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
