Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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