Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
