she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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