i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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