When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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