How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
