I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
