I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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