hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
