We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
