Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I still have a little drunk in my system
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
