My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
