her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
