So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
